Lilah is three and a half weeks old now. It has gone by so quickly. We love her so much. She is the sweetest and most pleasant baby. I love feeding her and cuddling with her all day. It’s so much fun. She is so beautiful. She is really alert sometimes and it’s really amazing to see those big dark eyes staring at me. She is my daughter! I just can’t believe it sometimes. I love her so much and it’s such a privilege to be her Mom.
These past weeks, although incredible and amazing, have been very challenging for me. I’ve been a NICU nurse for almost four years and I’ve taken care of hundreds or thousands of babies but I’ve learned that being a mother is completely different. I’ve never loved anyone so much and I’ve never been so preoccupied for anyone as I have for Lilah.
When Lilah was born she had a heart arrhythmia and that day was just awful for me. She ended up having to get a heart echo and needing a follow-up with the cardiologist but miraculously, everything resolved and she is doing wonderfully now. I’m so grateful. Matt and his brother Chris gave her a really special blessing the day that they found the arrhythmia. It truly was a miracle.
When she came home, she lost a lot of weight and we had to do 4 weight checks with the pediatrician over a three week period. I was so stressed out about it. She was not gaining weight and I was so worried that I’d have to stop breastfeeding her and start feeding her with the bottle. Looking back, I know that I was really overreacting from being sleep deprived and postpartum. I was so worried, but again, Matt gave her a blessing with my brother Seth that she would start to grow properly and the next time that we weighed her at the pediatrician’s office, she gained the appropriate amount of weight. To me, it was a miracle and I’m so grateful for the power of the priesthood in my home. I know that God has blessed our family so much and it has really increased my faith.
Introducing Lilah into our family has been a really big adjustment. I’m grateful that Matt and I have such a strong marriage. He has been wonderful and has taken such good care of us! I just hope that he doesn’t feel neglected. I’ve had a hard time with the transition. I also have been very sleep deprived and have been sick for the past week with a nasty cold.
Matt has been so great. He does so much for me without me ever asking. He cleans the house, cooks, does the grocery shopping and takes care of Lilah when he gets home from work. He made me two weeks of freezer meals so that I wouldn’t have to worry about cooking. I’m very grateful for Matt. He is such a wonderful dad. Lilah loves when he reads her stories and sings to her. He usually gives her a bottle and rocks her to sleep every night before she falls asleep. It’s so sweet. She loves it. You can tell.
Our family has been a great support to us. Especially my sister Angie. Angie just had her fourth baby, Justin, 7 months ago and she is very sympathetic to how I am feeling. She calls me a lot and gives me great advice. She has given us tons of hand-me-downs. She is wonderful. All of my family has been a really great support. I don’t mean to leave anyone out by not naming them. We are so grateful for everyone’s generosity and service. Grandma Thorup has also been really sweet. Yesterday I went to her house to take a nap while she watched Lilah. It was wonderful. She then made me lunch and sent me home with a lot of food.
Everyone is so kind and thoughtful. We are really grateful for all of the meals and visits that people have given to us. I hope that in the future I can pay it forward and show the same kind of generosity and kindness to others that people have shown to my family.