This is a journal entry that I wrote on March 30, 2006 when I lived in Argentina as a missionary for the LDS church.
Everything I see touches me so deeply. The stars, the mountains of Mendoza and Salt Lake, the beautiful sunsets, the clouds and endless sky, a sweet pure little baby, my hands, my body, my heartbeat. Truly everything denotes that there is a God, a supreme creator.
Tonight, while walking to teach an investigator, ,my mind went to thinking about life. How amazing is this gift of life. I don’t understand it but my mind just takes flight sometimes. What is the difference between me and a rock? I’m alive. I love and breathe and eat/digest food to make energy to move and live. I think and communicate. I learn, grow and change. Life is amazing. I talk to a ton of people everyday as a missionary who have different beliefs and backgrounds. Many don’t believe in God but most do. How can someone overlook the miracle of life? I have feelings, my own personality, desires, passions. I feel love and peace, happiness, sorrow, pain, guilt. I can make choices between good and bad. My body can heal itself but one day, I too will die like the billions of people before me who too had passions and feelings and their own personality and weaknesses.
A baby is born. A new life who learns and grows and develops more intelligence, creates more life, ages and eventually dies. This life is so short. Our time is so short and precious. Truly this life is a time to prepare to meet God. (Alma 34:32) It’s a preparatory state and how do we use our time? (Alma 11:24)
One day, I too will die. Wow. What will it be like? How old will I be? How will I die? I, at this time, have no fear of death because I understand that there is more. I believe in God and I know that He has a plan for me. When I take my last breath in this life, it is not the end, but the beginning of eternity. We cannot take anything with us: our cars, clothes, homes or money. But the things that last the longest are the most important: our families, the covenants that we make at baptism and in the holy temple, the knowledge that we’ve attained. These things are forever. I know that after this life I can be with my family forever. I love them so much. I think of my ancestors who have passed on before me who have gone through this life just as I am now. My children and grandchildren will do the same. I want to know them. Everyone has a story, their own story.
Death is not dark or scary to me, but full of hope because of the savior Jesus Christ. Without him, we would be lost and fallen with no hope but central to the plan of redemption of our Father in Heaven, is the Savior. One day, I will be resurrected and brought into his presence. I will “see His face with pleasure”. He is real. Through Him and my faith in Him, my repentance, baptism and the Holy Ghost I will live with my Father in Heaven and my family forever in a state of never-ending happiness. (Mosiah 2:41)
My understanding is so limited but I truly can feel that there is more that I don’t see. God lives. He is my Father. I feel like the scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 78:17-18, “Ye are little children and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in His own hands prepared for you . . . Ye cannot bear all things now, nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours and the riches of eternity are yours.”